The Counselor and the Curmudgeon

Posted on Wed Dec 18th, 2024 @ 4:42pm by Commander Onofron Zuir & Lieutenant Jade Celes-Johnson

2,292 words; about a 11 minute read

Mission: New Crew, New Mission
Location: Counselor's office
Timeline: Current

Ono walked briskly down the corridor toward the counseling office, his footsteps echoing faintly against the polished deck plates. His face was a mask of professional composure, but beneath it simmered a cauldron of irritation. It was a command decision—no, a directive—from Captain Johnson himself: all senior staff must undergo a psychological evaluation with the ship’s counselor.

Under normal circumstances, Zuir would have considered it a necessary formality, an exercise in ensuring that the mental health of the crew was maintained for the efficiency of ship operations. But these were not normal circumstances. This particular counselor was not merely the ship’s assigned mental health officer. She was the captain’s wife.

The unprofessionalism of it all grated on Zuir’s nerves like sand in a relay circuit. Starfleet regulations technically allowed for such arrangements, but the principle was another matter entirely. How was one expected to speak candidly about the pressures of serving under a commanding officer when that officer shared quarters—and presumably pillow talk—with the evaluator? This ship is a circus and had been cast as the reluctant ringmaster.

Zuir’s stride slowed as he reached the counselor’s office. He stared at the nameplate on the door: Lieutenant Jade Celes-Johnson, Ship’s Counselor. The hussy had the gall to engrave the captain's name after her own.

He let out a measured breath, schooling his features back into their customary stoicism. Refusing the order would, of course, be insubordination, and Zuir was nothing if not a man of protocol. But the entire situation felt like a farce. This would hardly be a meaningful session, he thought, mentally rehearsing the detached, sanitized answers he would provide to any questions.

Professionalism demands I comply, Ono thought darkly. Professionalism also demands I find this utterly absurd.

He tapped the door chime, his jaw tightening.

Inside Jade was just finishing off updating her calendar, getting up to answer the door she could sense that the person outside wasn’t happy with being here. Not that it was anything new, she offered a polite smile as the door swished open. “Commander, please come in.” She stepped aside to allow Ono entry. “Feel free to sit wherever you’d like.”

Ono stepped through the doorway with the rigid motion of a parade march. The space was, of course, designed to be disarming—soft lighting, carefully chosen furniture that practically begged you to sit and share your feelings, and an air of warmth that he found entirely out of place on a starship.

He clasped his hands behind his back and offered a stiff nod as he moved further inside, ignoring the polite invitation to make himself comfortable. "Thank you, Lieutenant," he said, his tone clipped and formal, making it abundantly clear he was here out of obligation, not choice. He did not sit, instead remaining standing near the edge of the nearest chair as if proximity alone could satisfy the expectation of participation. Ono’s posture remained ramrod straight, his eyes locking briefly with hers. "I trust this will be a concise session," he said, his voice carrying the faintest undertone of impatience. "I have pressing matters to attend to in ensuring that the Iroquois operates at maximum efficiency. Shipwide discipline, as you can imagine, does not maintain itself."

“Of course not Commander” Jade offered a polite smile, though her demeanour took on one of a more professional stance given Ono’s own attitude. “I take it you prefer to stand, that’s perfectly fine I won’t keep you any longer than absolutely necessary.” She took a seat and picked up a PADD. “Tell me Commander, what made you want to be an Officer in Starfleet?”

"Counselor, I assure you, I face challenges every day as a Starfleet officer. Challenges I embrace—matters of protocol, discipline, efficiency—without need to reexamine my reasons for entering Starfleet. Those are challenges worth my time. This, however..." He gestured faintly to the room, his tone sharpening, "feels more akin to being subjected to an unwelcome act of mating display communication from an Andorian long-tooth vole. Intrusive, cloying, and entirely unnecessary for the continued survival of the ship or its crew."

He paused for a fraction of a second, his voice cooling to a tone of feigned professionalism. "Zelonites, as you are undoubtedly aware, prefer directness in matters of interaction. Forced conversations of this nature feel as alien to me as if I were asked to exchange pheromonal signals with a Terran mollusk. It is both unproductive and, frankly, distasteful."

Despite his attempt to keep his response dignified, the brusque edge to his tone betrayed his irritation, and the metaphor lingered in the air like an awkward guest at a dinner party. He straightened his posture further, his jaw tightening. "That said, I understand the necessity of fulfilling orders. I am here to comply, Counselor. But let us proceed with efficiency and dispense with the... unnecessary entanglements." He fixed her with a piercing stare, as though daring her to prolong the process any further than absolutely required.

“Fair enough Commander” Jade nodded politely. “If directness is what you prefer then that is how we will conduct this evaluation.” She paused briefly. “Tell me Commander would you put up with an Officer that addresses people with rudely, and doesn’t offer apology for his, or her actions?”

"Starfleet's principle value is Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations," Ono said, "so protocols dictate that social interactions are guided by objective adherence to those subjective standards. That is to say, I would encourage everyone to embrace professionalism. What does this have to do with my evaluation?"

“The reason I ask is that your name has been raised in connection with an incident involving an arriving crew member.” Jade gave him an equally piercing stare. “I’m told you were rude, and used a very... shall we say, unsuitable comment? One that if raised with the Captain could possibly start you out on the wrong foot, and before you ask that is not a threat on my behalf, it is simply a fact as I am required to submit reports like everyone else.”

Ono’s lips pressed into a thin line, his midnight-blue eyes locking onto Jade’s with an intensity that could have cut through a forcefield. He shifted on his feet slightly, clasping his hands neatly behind his back, the very picture of poise. But the sharpness in his tone betrayed the tension brewing beneath the surface.

"Counselor," he began, his voice crisp, "Starfleet protocol is clear on matters of insubordination. Personal offense, however subjective, is not, and has never been, a defense against failing to comply with the chain of command or established regulations. Any comments I may or may not have made—unsuitable or otherwise—are protected under my command position when they are delivered in the execution of my duties. If an officer under my watch is unable to handle constructive feedback, then I would suggest the issue lies not with my delivery but with their capacity to serve."

He leaned back slightly, though his posture remained as straight as ever, and tilted his head just enough to project an air of deliberate condescension. "If the captain has a personal issue with my conduct, he is, of course, free to review my personal log. I update it daily—meticulously, I might add—with every interaction of professional significance. If he wishes to take issue with my methods, he need only consult the official record. Transparency is a cornerstone of leadership, after all."

Ono let the statement linger for a moment, raising one eyebrow slightly as if to emphasize his next point. "And rest assured, Counselor, this very session will be logged in detail. Including the questions posed, my responses, and any assessments I find relevant to my duties as Executive Officer. Naturally, I trust that this record will reflect the same... objectivity that you demand of me."

His hands unclasped briefly, one gesturing with careful deliberation. "If there is nothing further regarding this ‘incident,’ I suggest we proceed with the evaluation. I would hate to let personal offense—or imagined slights—distract us from the very real responsibilities that face us both."

“Of course Commander” Jade nodded, it was obvious the Commander had every angle covered. “My log will be just as precise, as is required of someone in my position.” She paused for a moment to look at her PADD, before looking back at him. “So tell me Commander, you have a very... shall we say, militant fashion, when it comes to interacting with others. I see it’s been noted a few times in your file, does it not bother you that others may find it off putting?”

Ono’s brow twitched at the question, his midnight-blue eyes narrowing as he weighed his response with the precision of someone accustomed to defending himself in hostile territory. He exhaled slowly, clasping his hands behind his back as though physically restraining the sharper words threatening to escape.

"Counselor," he began, his tone coldly deliberate, "your question assumes that my so-called 'militant fashion' is some inherent flaw, rather than a deliberate strategy designed to enforce discipline and ensure operational excellence. It is not my duty to coddle others’ feelings, but to uphold Starfleet standards—a mission which, I might add, is increasingly difficult when sentimentality undermines those very standards."

He leaned forward slightly, his voice quickening like a theatre actor in full diatribe. "And yet, perhaps I should not be surprised. A pregnant counselor playing at First Officer to her husband, the captain, might indeed feel threatened by a real and genuine first officer who actually enforces protocol and demands accountability from those around him. But, paradoxically, my own standards require me to expect you, Counselor, to be an ally in upholding those protocols."

Ono paused, his expression tightening into a mask of incredulous disdain. "What exactly would you have me do instead? Impregnate a fellow crew member and take refreshments on the bridge like a tourist on holiday? Would that be more palatable to this crew’s fragile sensibilities? Perhaps my very presence is the offense, as I refuse to indulge the casual levity that passes for professionalism aboard this ship."

The very idea made him shake his head with incredulous disgust. Fixing on Jade again with an unyielding stare, his tone grew quieter but no less emphatic. "Your sentimentality, Counselor, is a microcosm of the discipline problem I have observed among the senior staff. While you might believe that such informality fosters morale, I can assure you, it is a façade. Morale is built on trust, and trust is built on discipline—not whimsy or leniency."

He let the words hang in the air before delivering his final salvo with his brow raised dramatically, his expression one of stern interrogation. "So, if I may, allow me to return your rhetorical question with one of my own: does it bother you, Counselor, that your own levity may result in very real casualties? That, in attempting to boost morale, you may very well be destroying it?"

“First things first Commander, I most certainly am not threatened by your presence. You are First Officer and I will treat you as such, with the respect it deserves. I, in turn, expect you to treat me... a fellow Senior Officer with the same respect. I maybe the wife of your Captain but that won’t interfere with my duties. As for my levity, I believe it more efficient to get to know my patients on a more personal level, it puts them more at ease when they come to see me. Being distant and unwelcoming will only make people avoid their Counselling sessions.”

"Counselor," Ono began, his voice measured and droll, "your defense of your approach, while eloquent, does not absolve you from the reality that standards exist for a reason. Levity, as you call it, cannot become an excuse to deviate from professional decorum. Now..." He gestured faintly, as though brushing the matter aside like a stray speck of dust. "... if you are finished acquitting yourself of the accountability that inevitably accompanies such lax conduct, then perhaps we can conclude this evaluation. Perhaps you might take note of the simple observation that time spent debating the merits of sentimentality versus discipline might be better applied to something productive. For instance, preparing for the very real possibility of crew casualties your approach will inevitably cause." His brow arched slightly, his midnight-blue eyes locking onto hers for a moment that felt far longer than it was. "Shall we proceed?"

“By all means Commander” Jade nodded. “However, if you wish my conduct to be more professional.” She motioned to the seats her voice taking on a more distanced tone. “Next time I see you, I will be requiring you to sit down Commander, standing towering over me, or anyone else in such a dominating and overbearing manner will not be tolerated.” She picked up her PADD. “If it’s emotional detachment you wish in your presence then detachment you will get. I will not, however, be as rude to my patients as you are to everyone you meet. This session is now concluded, you may leave Commander.”

"Standing at attention is as respectful of a formality as it gets, Counselor. If you are intimidated by that, then I will recommend you be evaluated yourself for psychological fitness." Ono gave her a parting nod. "I believe I had everything I need to conduct my review. Farewell."

Jade nodded and watched Ono go before tossing her PADD on the table. She was going to prove him wrong if it was the last thing she did.

 

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